Friday, August 27, 2010

Sunday, August 22, 2010


I need to be clearer when I ask the universe for something. I was asking and asking for lets just call it Fetticuni Alfedo, but what I am getting is Lasanga. Both are good, but I was in the mood for the first one. Come to find out it is not on the menu. Lasanga is, so the question is should I wait for what I wanted, it may never come or take what is being offered. I guess I could try something new and still wait for the Fetticuni.

Universe I want Fetticuni.

Saturday, August 21, 2010

When someone thinks the world of you, be careful with them. - Margaret Cho

I find this to be true. I have been on both sides of this. I use quotes too much to express how I feel I need to start writing my own quotes.

Thursday, August 19, 2010

A clean house is a sign of a misspent life.

I need to get something done before the Hoarders crew comes over to film my apartment. It looks like Amy Whinehouse, Lindsey Lohan and Courtney Love are roommates. Yikes. You would think my OCD tendencies would mean I have a cleaner house.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Next Please...

Why can't I just enjoy a moment? I am so worried about what comes next that I don't enjoy what is currently happening. I should be enjoying things in my life right now but I am consumed with how it will end. I don't even care if it ends badly I just want it done. Over. Finished. I should be enjoying this part. Why can't I live in the now, instead of the past or future.

I will enjoy now. I will enjoy the small moments and quit worrying about what will happen.

(quote from My So Called Life)

Right. And if you make it real, it, it's not the same. It's not... it's not yours anymore. I don't know maybe I'd rather have the fantasy, than even him.

Monday, August 16, 2010

6 books

Top six books that have altered my life.

1. Diary of Anne Frank by Anne Frank

I thought my life was not up to par but when I read this as a child it made me aware of the suffering of others. I loved Anne Frank. She was a dreamer and I was the same. A good book makes you want to inhabit that world. While I would not want to be a Jew in hiding during WWII I did want to be Anne's friend.

Favorite Quote: "Everyone has inside of him a piece of good news. The good news is that you don't know how great you can be! How much you can love! What you can accomplish! And what your potential is!"- Anne Frank

2. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger

What can I say about this book, I am sure it is on many best of lists. I fell in love with Holden Caulfield in the first two pages. I would consider him my first literary crush. Rhett Butler is second but Gone with the Wind didn't make this list. Catcher is teen angst personified and I loved that main character was as irritated by the people in his universe as I with those in mine.

Favorite Quote: All morons hate it when you call them a moron. -Holden Caulfield

3. Anne of Green Gables by Lucy Maud Montgomery

Yes this book is syrupy sweet, but this cherished novel and the others in the series saved my life. In a time in my life where nothing was defined and I felt I had no control Anne Shirley made me feel safe. I wanted to be one of the inhabitants of Avonlea. I loved Anne and her romantic spirit. I liked how everything was so wholesome, people were good, and best of all everything worked out in the end.

Favorite Quote: "Marilla, isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?"- Anne Shirley

4. White Oleander by Janet Fitch

Astrid's mother reminds me of my own minus the murder add in a sense of humor. I relate to this story of a lost girl who changes and adapts to every new situation that is forced upon her. The last 5 pages of this book make me cry every time I read them.

Favorite Quote: I hated labels anyway. People didn't fit in slots -- prostitute, housewife, saint -- like sorting the mail. We were so mutable, fluid with fear and desire, ideas and angles, changeable as water. -Astrid Magnussen

5. Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

I have not traveled much in my life but this book inspires me. It makes me want to actually take the initiative to make plans. It shows a different path, one I would like to take.

Favorite Quote: "If I love you, I will carry for you all your pain, I will assume for you all your debts (in every definition of the word), I will protect you from your own insecurity, I will protect upon you all sorts of good qualities that you have never actually cultivated in yourself and I will buy Christmas presents for your entire family. I will give you the sun and the rain, and if they are not available, I will give you a sun check and a rain check. I will give you all this and more, until I get so exhausted and depleted that the only way I can recover my energy is by becoming infatuated with someone else." — Elizabeth Gilbert (And I was thrilled that this quote made it into the movie.)

6. Wasted by Marya Hornbacher

Memior about eating disorders. While my issues are different I related to this book so much. Why do women hate them selves so much? This book explores that for me.

Favorite Quote: "Never, never underestimate the power of desire. If you want to live badly enough, you can live. The great question, at least for me, was: How do I decide I want to live?" — Marya Hornbacher

Friday, August 6, 2010


I have had self doubt my whole life and always made to feel like I can't accomplish anything or have anything. I will no longer allow myself to be treated poorly. You do not have permission to do that anymore.

Monday, August 2, 2010

After some editing...

I had a whole post, many many angry words to express how I feel right now. I deleted anything that was mean or complaining and this is all I have left...

I only like the me I see reflected in your eyes.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Ipod Top Six

Top six songs that make me smile.

1. Chop and Change/The Black Keys- Ahh The Black Keys it was love at first listen.
2. Cosmic Love/Florence and the Machine- If you need your mood boosted this song can do it.
3. Little Boxes/Malvina Reynolds- Weeds theme song. I love it.
4. Boots and Boys/Ke$ha- I just like this naughty little song.
5. My First Kiss/3oh!3- I want to hate this band but I love them.
6. Prima Donna/Christina Aquilera- I like a woman who has the ego to say "I'm a prima donna I can rule the world." I need to hear that kind of confidence, let some of it sink in.

Best heartbreak songs.

1. Jar of Hearts/Christina Perri- Yes I first heard this on SYTYCD like everybody else. I went to itunes and had to have it the next day. This song breaks my heart every time I hear it.
2. Lullaby/Dixie Chicks- This song only makes me sad cause I have no one to sing it to. Well I have someone only I can't sing it to them.
3. All I Can Do is Cry/Ike and Tina Turner- This song rocks. Tina Turner does a great job playing the scorned lover.
4. Samson/Regina Specktor- You are my sweetest downfall. Enough said.
5. Scratch/Kendall Payne- A song about starting over with someone. I have wished to say this many times.
6. Possibility/Lykke Li- Yes it was in a Twilight movie but this song is still great when I am sad.