Monday, March 29, 2010

I feel trapped

But I am going to do my best to break out. Hopefully it won't involve trudging through a mile of sewer and sewage "Shawshank Redemption" style. I will find a way out of this rut I am in and have always been in.

Monday, March 22, 2010

Deleted Scenes and Extra from the audition!

Lets make that 1250 plus people. I think when I arrived it was only 700. Wow that is a lot of folks. Not long after I had found my place in line a frantic lady came along offering crispy creme donuts to anyone who would let her cut in line with them. She said she had been held up and then pulled over by the police. I just looked away I wanted to tell her to just do what I did and casually slip yourself in somewhere not at the end of the line. I didn't not want to say this out loud the less said on what I had done the better. We were in downtown Salt Lake and lots of cars drove by. They all wanted to know what we were doing in line. One guy would yell "Jazz Dancer tryouts" and we would all laugh. One older lady hanging out of her car cigarette dangling asked us and a girl I was chatting with and myself both yelled "Your Mom". More laughs.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

How it went...

The shortlist1. The line was over 700 people long.
2. I cut in line.
3. I learned hot wings are a fat mans aphrodisiac.
4. Once inside it was over too quickly. Kinda like sex. Hmmmm.

Biggest Loser audition 2010, KSL building Salt Lake City. It was a jerk seventh grade boys dream miles and miles of fatties lined up for the insulting. They were going to start bringing people in at 10:00 am. My wonderful cousin Anne, her daughter Kerstin and newborn Jaden came with me they were going to drop me off and pick me up when I was done. They ended up having to entertain themselves for longer than planned.

When we got to the KSL building there were already like 700 people lined up. After we drove around to see the entire line which was massive Anne told me to just cut in line. I hesitated worried about what people would say or do. She convinced me to do it or I might not get in. I got out of the car and just kinda got in line. I put my earbuds in and cranked the tunes and didn't look anyone in the eye. I was getting some bad vibes from some ladies behind me, and some people in front of me who were not even auditioning but just in line with someone who was. The next time the line moved I just kinda ditched these downers and moved forward about ten people. I found people were not about to say anything directly to me. If things got heated they risked getting kicked out of the line.

An intern from KSL soon started handing out numbered applications for us to fill out. I soon made new friends by sharing my pens and book so people had someting to write on. I also had valuable info on having auditioned a few years ago. There was a really funny guy who said buffalo wings turned him on. There were things he wanted to do with the sauce that I am sure would sting. There were also some nice girls I spoke with one sweet girl in particular that was an albino. Also some fun married couples who offered to share the chairs they brought. Me and my new friends waited and waited and waited. Almost 6 hours. Lots of folks brought chairs to sit in, I stood for 90 percent of the time.

When we were right at the KSL building just a few groups to go I got dizzy and light headed. I started sweating and I got nauseous. II sat down on the grass and shut my eyes for a few minutes until it was time to move forward. I think it was the combination of standing for so long, low blood sugar and no sleep.

I felt better and was soon in the building. When we finally got in with the casting directors it went quick we introduced ourselves and were asked but food was our biggest weakness. The casting person doing the interview would but people off you only got a few sentences. They encouraged us to make videos and send them in. Why spend a few mintues with us only to tell us you really would like to see a video. I am not sure. I didn't get a call back like 98 percent of the others in line. Now I have to make a danmed video.

Thanks Anne for taking me. Sorry Nancy I was to exhausterated to go out after I needed to get some sleep so I could work the graveyard shift. Three hours of sleep whoo hooo.

An open letter to Twilight fans.

To whom it may concern. I liked vampires first. They were mine. Vampires are meant to be badasses not sparkling pansies. Vampires are supposed to drink the blood of the innocent not sit around their beautiful house and be all homey. I fell for Keifer Sutherland in Lost Boys years ago, then their was Lestat in Anne Rice books. Then of coarse Angel and Spike. Give me my vampires back. I hope in the next movie Victoria kills Edwards and drinks Bella dry. She is a real vampire.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Ode to Buffy

BuffySeason 1: Into every generation a slayer is born...Buffy moves to sunnydale. Giles is her watcher. She becomes friends with Xander and Willow. Frenemies with Cordelia. Xander loves Buffy, Willow loves Xander and Buffy loves Angel.

Season 2: Passion. It lies in all of us. Sleeping...waiting...and though will it's jaws, and howl. It speaks to us...guides us. Passion rules us all. And we obey. What other choice do we have? Passion is the source of our finest moments. the joy of love...the clarity of hatred...and the ecstasy of grief. It hurts sometimes more than we can bear. If we could live without passion, maybe we'd know some kind of peace. But we would be hollow. Empty rooms, shuttered and dank. Without passion, we'd truly be dead. Angelus. Snakelicous. Rocket Launcher. Buffy kills Angel.

Season 3: You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own. The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening... You know, I could've taken that by now. Vampire Willow wears leather. Faith. Watchers Council fires Giles. Graduation. Mayor turns into a snake.

Season 4: 'Cause I could do anything I want and instead I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of Slayerness. I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous. I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you pop like warm champagne and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more. And you know why I don't? [mockingly] Because it's wrong.College. Oz leaves. Spike gets a chip. Beer Bad. The Gentlemen. Cheese.

Season 5: The Slayer's a robot? Did everybody else know the Slayer was a robot? Joyce dies. Spike gets a new obsession. Dawn is the key. Glory.

Season 6: Bunnies aren't just cute like everybody supposes! They got them hoppy legs and twitchy little noses! And what's with all the carrots? What do they need such good eyesight for, anyway? Bunnies! Bunnies! It must be bunnies! Musical. Spike and Buffy. Willow goes to the dark side. Nemesiesess. Yellow Crayon.

Season 7: I'm beyond tired. I'm beyond scared. [near sobbing] I'm standing on the mouth of Hell and it is going to swallow me whole. [hardens] And it'll choke on me. We're not ready? They're not ready. They think we're gonna wait for the end to come, like we always do. I'm done waiting. They want an apocalypse? Well, we'll give 'em one. Anyone else who wants to run, do it now, 'cause we just became an army. We just declared war. From now on, we won't just face our worst fears, we will seek them out. We will find them, and cut out their hearts, one by one, until the First shows itself for what it really is. And I'll kill it myself. There is only one thing on this earth more powerful than evil. And that's us. Any questions? Principal Wood. The First. Next generation of Slayers. Big Battle. Spike dressed like Elizabeth Taylor. Cookie Dough.

Things need to change

I know this but have been having a hard time making it happen. I need some motivation, a shot in the arm from the universe. I have some plans hopefully something will happen.

Saturday, March 6, 2010

Bad Acting

I hear all the time, "Oh that show has the worst acting blah blah blah."

Have you ever been in a real life situation and thought WOW that acting is horrible?

I have. I don't mean lying this is not what I mean. I mean being in a real life moment, bad or good. I have thought to myself that I wish it had been scripted better. I miss my marks and they flub their lines.

I guess I have read too many books and seen too many movies. I just get disapointed with the real thing.

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

My Love

I still want this ring more than an engagement ring. I need to save up. Or someone could get it for me size 9 currently.